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Comments

part 2 ;; sorry

[(Anonymous)]

thirdly, (wow that felt like a long second) characterisation! although it’s supposed to be a yadong, i’m not really feeling that dongwoo is dongwoo and howon is howon. the characters could be really anyone, if i didn’t have their names, and sometimes the way they act is strange. we do find out that dongwoo is a dancer, and that howon like writing poetry, and is majoring in english, but i’m sure that’s not just all he is. we never really get past that superficial layer. for example, in this section, They eat in comfortable silence, Howon enjoying his food happily while Dongwoo avoids making eye contact. i felt that the roles really should’ve been reversed.

as for side characters, sungjong was great when he was mentioned, and sungyeol was okay as a side character, but i felt they tried to characterise myungsoo as the stoic untalking one which is kind of :| and woohyun, my god, woohyun, um, this is his dialogue: "You guys are soooooo cute together!" he squeals over and over. and "Awww, you guys are so cute!" Woohyun gushes, pausing in the middle of his spastic dancing. -- okay, first of all, woohyun...’sooooo cute’ and gushing, just, no. secondly, SPASTIC DANCING. alright, so while he might do that stuff for the cameras as an idol, this is an alternate universe and he is a waiter.

and lastly, plot and pacing. the idea was good (the falling in love in 6 days thing), and while it could’ve been executed well, i don’t think it was :( firstly, the premises for their meeting is kind of strange -- howon inviting dongwoo to eat with him because he spilled coffee on his pants. that would not happen realistically; a person would be...more polite and pissed off than anything, not invite a perfect stranger to sit and eat with them. furthermore, dongwoo getting close to the staff at the cafe happens much too fast, probably due to the waiters and even the manager being characterised much too ‘overly friendly’ -- after all, dongwoo’s just a customer, not a vip, and waiters wouldn’t go around introducing themselves to customers.

that aside, it also feels that dongwoo and howon’s actual relationship progresses a bit fast (although okay, it might’ve been a prompt which meant they had to it) but just with It's peculiar; they had only met yesterday, but Dongwoo feels as comfortable with Howon as he does with some of his oldest friends. they tell us, but don’t really show us how he’s comfortable, then with "I'm saying that I think I'm in love with you." -- i don’t actually think people ever fall in love this fast, so it felt...very unnatural. hoya’s reasoning doesn’t feel very convincing, it’s a list of things like I know that your favorite color is green and that you have two older sisters. I know that your father died when you were ten and that you promised yourself that you would give everything you have into achieving your dreams. and while that could’ve been done well there wasn’t enough buildup; they just hit us with all that and it felt like a very shallow kind of love, especially with dongwoo responding so fast in the same way.

criticism over, and onto some things i liked! i thought that having them both like the same drink, and using that as a bonding point was a nice touch (although the drink could’ve been a bit more specific -- coffee with cream and sugar is rather common). also, some lines like He sits at the cafe for a while after, the feeling of Howon's fingers still on his skin. | "I think Sungjong's thank-you is well worn out by now," Dongwoo says. and Howon smiles brilliantly, and Dongwoo's heart beats a new rhythm in his chest. were done well, as well as the flirting section with dongwoo and howon discussing their favourite icecreams, that was pretty cute and didn’t sound unnatural.

overall, it had potential, it started off a bit strangely, picked up around the middle, and while the ending is technically a ‘happy ending’ because they get together, it just didn’t read realistically enough for me to enjoy :( not a problem if you like cheesy endings though!

yeaaahh sorry for the....tl;dr lol /o\

Re: part 2 ;; sorry

[(Anonymous)]

darling you are my favourite and you are essaying on more than i am it's ridiculous and wonderful ♥

Re: part 2 ;; sorry

[(Anonymous)]

no your essays are still the best ♥ ilt and ilu ;u;

Re: part 2 ;; sorry

[(Anonymous)]

don't use those emoticons, you know what they do to me :( ♥♥

i think i can retire now. you can write essays for meme forever ok, love of my life?